Sunday, July 17, 2016

What If Your Spouse Doesn't Have a Love Language?

Have you ever read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? The basic premise is that people feel most affirmed and loved differently. And that by learning your spouse's love language, you both can communicate more effectively and help each other to feel loved and fulfilled. 

The 5 love languages are: 

-Words of Affirmation: Praise, compliments, loving words. 

-Acts of Service: Doing things for your spouse (or significant other)

-Receiving gifts: Pretty self-explanatory

-Quality time: Spending time together and giving your spouse your undivided attention

-Physical touch: This one is my love language. Snuggling, holding hands, sitting near each other. I feel comforted by touch. I was joking with my husband the other day that his skin is soothing to me and that I just wanted a small patch of it to make a blanket. And then I immediately heard in my head, "It puts the lotion in the basket!" Hahaha, *creeper alert*. Clearly, I'm an awesome wife. 

But then I started asking my hubby what his love language was. And I told him about the book and described the different types. Then I just kind of looked at him and said, "I don't think any of those fit" and he agreed. 

My personal opinion is that there should be a 6th love language: Laughter. 

Hubs and I have our own weird brand of humor. Snarky comments and dirty jokes and giving each other a hard time. And then we laugh and laugh until we can't laugh anymore... and then something else will set us off and we'll go off on another laughing bout. And afterwards, without fail, he will say to me, "I love you. You get me." 

And that got me to thinking that... you really can't define love, can you? Each person is so different. Each couple unique in the bonds that brought (and keep) them together. So don't worry if you don't "fit" into a neat little category. Love in all of its many forms is a blessing. 

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