I often get pretty deep and dark on this ole blog. So today, I decided to take a crack (HAHA) at something a little different and I hope you guys enjoy it.
So... I have a big butt. There's just no getting around it. Growing up in the '90s, during the height of Kate Moss-esque beauty standards, I would often go to great lengths to hide this bodacious booty. There was my hip hop period, with baggy jeans and big t-shirts. There was my grunge period, with big plaid flannel shirts. I would rarely wear anything too form-fitting because I didn't want to draw attention to my buttockal region.
But I eventually grew to appreciate my curves. I knew I looked different from the models and actresses in the magazines at the time, and I felt like being different made me unique and exotic. As an introvert, I never wanted to draw attention to myself, but I stopped actively hiding behind... my behind.
Now that you can't turn around without seeing the Kim K, Nicki Minaj, and J-Lo's of the world, I feel validated. Like yep - Mia got a big ol' butt, SAY WHAT!
And please know that I'm not putting down anyone's body type - I think all women are beautiful in all different ways. But I just want to share with you a few reasons why I love my big butt and I cannot lie:
Built-in fall protection. Fall on your butt? Shoot. Just get up, dust that tushie off, and keep on truckin. You won't feel a thing.
Musical instrument. My kids have learned a lot about rhythm by standing behind me and patting me on the butt to the beat of a song. Who needs a drum set when you got a buns set?
No flag zone. Remember when kids used to run around pull other people's pants down as a joke? HA. These suckers aren't going anywhere without some Crisco and a crowbar.
Seat cushion. I'm an excellent road trip companion. Or movie date. Basically, a chair extraordinaire.
Radio queen. I mean, pretty much every song on the radio these days is about me. Or so I like to think.
Chivalry magnet. My husband sure loves to open doors for me and let me walk in front of him. How nice.
So, I could end it here, butt (HAHA) I will leave you with these wise words from Sir Mix-a-Lot, royal rump expert:
You can do sidebends or situps, but please don't lose that butt. BABY GOT BACK.