Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Write or Die Wednesdays: An Uncomfortable Situation


Welcome to Write or Die Wednesdays: A Writer's Link-Up! We are Vashelle and Mia inviting you to partake in some creative writing with us every other week.


                        

If you are new to this link-up and are wondering what Write or Die is all about, check it out here!

If you missed the last round of Write or Die, you can check out those posts here. We had some really great entries submitted!

Also, don't forget to join the #WODW Book Club! We have begun reading our second selection, The Courage to Write by Ralph Keyes, and you have plenty of time to join in on the fun if you haven't already! We'll be reading and discussing this selection until September 30th. Click here to join!

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The prompt for the next two weeks is: What makes you uncomfortable? Happy writing!


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"So, tell me about yourself."

OMG. I just broke out into invisible hives just reading that phrase. I really hate talking about myself. I never know what to say. I'm always bracing myself for the silent judgment that I assume is there as I'm talking and then I get self-conscious. And then I stop talking. And the awkward silence begins. Haha.

When someone asks me to tell them about more about me - my stomach gets tied up in knots. They could be the nicest person ever, but there will still be that part of me in the back of my mind that thinks they think I'm an idiot. It's weird. I also just truly don't know what to say. Do I tell them about my job (snooze)? What I do in my spare time (ha!)? I'm just too much into my head.

I think I have a tendency to also downplay my accomplishments so that I don't come across as a braggart. And I also downplay my hobbies and passions because I hate the questions that inevitably follow: "Blogging? What is that? Does anybody even read it? Writer? Oh, so you're one of 'those' people who is working on a book. Is it ever going to be finished? You read? Ew, I don't read books, just tell me when the movie comes out." 

Just... no.

"I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat." Caitlin Moran

I don't really know why I'm this way. Maybe it's my introversion coming through. I hate small talk and find that most people don't really care about the answer anyways. You know those people - they'll ask how you are, or how your weekend was, and when you start to answer you realize that they aren't even paying attention to you anymore. So I generally just say, "Fine" and keep it moving.

Being averse to small talk and talking about myself has a pro and con.

The con: It makes me a hard person to get to know. I think most people feel like I'm keeping them at arm's length or I'm standoffish (aka bitchy). I'm sure it feels like pulling teeth when people ask me questions sometimes. Heck, my husband almost didn't talk to me because he thought I was stuck up. And I was over there totally crushing on him. Ha!

The pro: I'm a great listener. Fact: When you don't really talk much, it's very easy to listen to others. I like being a sounding board for people. I've found that most people really appreciate having someone who will let them vent. People are always telling me about their problems and I always patiently listen because I do truly care, and I also want them to know that I'm there for them.

What's funny, though, is that after people get to know me, I don't stop talking. I'm usually goofing off and joking around with them. I love to make people laugh!

So, I guess the moral of this story is, if there's someone in your life - a friend, a family member, a coworker - who doesn't say much, don't immediately write them off. Give them a chance to feel comfortable around you. Keep talking to them - you never know, they may surprise you. :)

What makes YOU uncomfortable?



   

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20 comments:

  1. A great read Mia. I never know how to answer that question either. Now days, I answer it with a question...Well, what do you want to know? It's almost like an interview when they ask that question. What do they really want to hear?

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  2. Omg I am the same way! I also hate the question "what's new??" like do I tell you how I tripped over the sidewalk, my dog has been acting like a hot mess and work is stressing me out or do I go with the standard 'nothing' ??! Lol

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  3. Both of these. I am the exact same way.

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  4. I admire listeners like you. I'm one myself. I just don't get people who talk and talk and talk; why aren't they interested in the person in front of them?

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  5. Haaaaaaave you read my "ABOUT PAGE"? I swear you and I, woman... we have something in common (sing it!) :)
    XOXO

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  6. When I lived in LA people asked, "so what's your story?" all the time! I hated that! I also don't like talking about myself I'd rather let the other person go on and on. When it comes time for me to talk I usually keep it brief. On the other hand if it's someone I know and am looking forward to seeing (like you very soon), then I can't shut up! heehee :) xoxo

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  7. I can definitely relate. "Tell me about yourself," and "What's up?" are the two questions I HATE to answer! And I've given up on telling people I'm a writer because the next question is always, "So, have you written anything?" Uh, yea. I'm a writer! Then when I tell them I've been published a few times, their next question is always, "Well, did you get paid for it?" Uh, no. I'm a writer!

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  8. Oh gosh. I'm an introvert and small talks is so not my thing. I'd rather avoid eye contact when there's nothing we need to talk about. :P

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  9. Alexandra MayhewJuly 17, 2015 at 4:26 PM

    Snap Mia! I'm the same- it's really awkward trying to 'sell yourself'. I immediately feel like a fraud or I'm bragging or something... Eek! When people ask about my blog I get so embarrassed about it and start stuttering nervously about it. Horrible! X

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  10. Yessss, exactly! I just want to ignore them, haha.

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  11. Hahaha, yes! Ugh, what's new. Nothing is new, go away!!! ;)

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  12. Yes, exactly! I often wonder if they even know who they are talking to, or are they just talking to hear their own voice and we could get up and replace ourselves with a potted plant and they would just keep talking?? :)

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  13. Leo, rawwwwrrrr! :) I think based on our video chats, we will totally be doing lots of laughing and joking around. :)

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  14. Hahaha, I love your ABOUT page. :-D You're just like - here I am. More reading, less talking, move it along. Hehe.

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  15. Yessss! I let the other person go on and on as well. It's just easier that way, I feel like. :)

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  16. Yesssss! The "comments" I get in response to saying I'm a writer are just so interesting (sarcasm) haha. I can't stand it.

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  17. Yes yes yes. I totally agree. :)

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  18. Oh my goodness, so glad to hear I'm not alone, haha. Hate trying to sell myself. I'd rather hide in the corner. :)

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  19. My husband is introverted. I think it's a good quality because he only lets the important people in. Where I'm extroverted and I let way too many people in. Causing me to break down :/ it's a gift and a curse. I should have linked yesterday's blog post here. Next time :)

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