Tuesday, June 9, 2015

I am not a doormat.



I'm a people-pleaser. I've said it many times here on the blog, and I'm sure you'll hear me say it again. I don't like drama. I don't like confrontation. I don't like when people are mad at me. I am an expert at just letting things roll off my back or ignoring someone when they are being rude. I try to be like Tay-Tay and shake it off. I seem to have a high tolerance for other people's bullshit and it takes A LOT to make me angry.

But I do have my limits. I'm human. Just because I keep quiet, or just because I smile, or just because I try to turn uncomfortable situations into a joke and make people laugh, doesn't mean that I'm not angry or sad or disappointed on the inside. I just don't show it because most of the time it wouldn't be productive. Sure, it would probably feel good for a minute to just say whatever I'm feeling (which would involve plenty of four-letter words), but what would it accomplish at the end of the day? Only more drama. More negativity and conflict. Sometimes when I'm feeling more upset than usual, I'll vent to a friend, and then once I get it out, I feel better. 

Lately, though, I find it harder and harder to hold things in. The thread that keeps my filter in place is fraying at an alarming rate. I find myself wondering why I have allowed myself to become a doormat to other people. That they can say or do whatever and I just take it. I can guarantee that if the situations were reversed, they would balk at being treated that way. 

I'm not starting the revolution or anything here, but I think it's high time that I stood up for myself. That I demand the same type of treatment that anyone else would expect to receive. I still say killing with kindness is the best solution, but if that fails... well, let's just say I'll be in the corner sharpening my verbal claws. 

I am woman. Here me roar.  Raaawwwrrrrr. ;)



23 comments:

  1. Oh, Mia. Your thoughts resonate with mine. I am going through some personal problems, too, and it's something I've been trying to wrap my head around lately. So frustrating.

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  2. Momista BeginningsJune 10, 2015 at 1:41 AM

    Just remember, no one can make you into a doormat unless you let them. Absolutely stand up for yourself. I went years at my old job, feeling like a doormat because I never stood up for myself. I allowed my supervisors to make me feel inferior and did so for far too long. Long story short, I don't work there anymore and feel so much better about life! If you find yourself being constantly disrespected, either A) you may be the problem so address your own behavior first or B) eliminate the rude people from your life. Surround yourself with others who celebrate you and lift you up, not bring you down. -Misty

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  3. Girl I am so with you on this one! I am the exact same way. I hate confrontation and will do anything I can to avoid it . I want people to like me and to be happy with me, so I usually keep my mouth shut if something is bothering me. I hold onto resentments , yet I never told the person how i truely feel, because I'm worried they'll be unhappy with me. Its something I work on every day. Its a work in progress. Progress not perfection. Love you lady! xoxo

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  4. Oooo. A toughie. I'm a people pleaser, too, but I think as I've gotten older, I'm not so much this as a peace maker. I'm fine with that. The times I have flown off the door handle has generally not been a good thing. I try not to take things too seriously now (still trying) and wait, even though I'm like you, I can be pushed a lonnng time before I'm ready. I'd like to think I'm better at controling my emotions and being less explosive, but maybe you should ask my b/f. Hahhahaa. Good luck. Such a tough thing to feel and figure out.

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  5. I totally feel you on this one. I get so frustrated sometimes. But you SHOULD definitely stand up for yourself. It feels so good. YOU CAN DO IT!

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  6. I'm a total people, pleaser, too! It is definitely hard, sometimes, especially when people don't appreciate what you do for them.

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  7. Yup I can relate to this so much, I am a people pleaser too and I find myself being walked all over too and it's really frustrating.

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  8. I hear you loud and clear sister! I find myself in the exact same spot all too often. The few times I have found the strength/courage to stand up for myself, it has worked out well. Still doesn't make it easier the next go round, but it definitely helps knowing I can do it! You certainly deserve to be treated with the same respect as others. Let them hear you roar :)

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  9. Oh this is speaking volumes to me!! I feel like I am taken for granted sometimes like this and walked over! ROAR!

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  10. Good for you. I used to be like that and I still don't like conflict but a sharply worded jab can do wonders.

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  11. I get it. We reach our limit and then have to push back. It's hard for people like you (and me) to do that, but we can't let others take advantage of our good nature.

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  12. Get 'em!! :)
    But for real, you know I'm the same way. Also, I'm always a phone call away.
    Some people love to take from the givers and never give back. Take a penny, leave a penny, fool!
    Sending you love and big hugs!!!
    XOXO

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  13. I'm so sorry that you're going through something similar, Jae. :( You're right, it's very frustrating! Big hugs.

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  14. Progress, not perfection - I like that! :) xo

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  15. Yesss! It's so hard. I'm trying to work on it. Sigh.

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  16. Yess, Jen! So frustrating. Glad someone else understands.

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  17. Ugh, sorry this happens to you, too, but I'm glad that someone else understands!

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  18. Bahahah, take a penny, leave a penny - you crack me up!! :) Hugs, my friend. xo

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