|Linking up with Dean and Courtney|
I've always been a "yes" person. Always quick to agree, slow to complain or contradict. I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings or have that awkwardness that comes when you tell someone "no". Confrontation is something I avoided at ALL costs.
I've often found myself agreeing to things that I 100% don't want to do. And it always causes me such stress and anxiety. My husband always asks, "Why don't you just tell them no?" and my response is always, "I can't."
I think it's partially the guilt and fear I feel at letting someone down or being labelled as unreliable or a "flake" because I hate when people flake on me.
"Yes is like credit, No is like cash." - C. J. Langenhoven
But as much as I have conflicted feelings about "yes" - and continuing to work on finding my voice - it's actually the 2nd part of the quote that really bothers me. "Figure it out afterwards." UGH. Never have more frustrating words been spoken. And even more so now that I'm a mom.
I have to keep in mind a lot of different things - the boys' nap time, meal times, bath time, homework time, errands, meal prep, spin class, cleaning, laundry, etc. Trying to figure out how to juggle all of that and make plans really takes some prior planning and maneuvering. So yes, while spontaneity can be fun and exciting, more often than not, it leaves me scrambling - which is why you'll find me silently fuming when I ask someone to make plans and they refuse to commit to a date/time. And they casually say, "Let's just figure it out later." Aghghghfghghfghflgfg.
Woo-sah. Don't run for the hills, I promise I'm not this crazy person who has to plan every minute of every day. I'm just more mindful to manage my time wisely and take into account my family's needs and my responsibilities. Especially my kids - they come before everything. Even my "yes" complex.
I've gotten a little bit better about speaking up when something doesn't work for me, but I still feel that uncomfortable twinge lurking underneath. My eyes get shifty and I start to fidget, like a kid in the principal's office. Hopefully one day I'll learn how to strike that balance with ease.
What are your tips for saying no with grace? Are you a planner or a figure-it-out-er?
P.S. Our prompt for Write or Die Wednesdays this week is the quote below. Hope you join us! Happy writing.