Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Brave Heart


Courageous. Heroic. Fearless. Strong. These are the words that come to mind when I hear the word "brave." It brings to mind the soldier serving his country. The police officer/firefighter protecting his community. 

It was never a word that I would have used to describe myself or anything that I've done. But then again, I know that bravery can take many forms, not just those who risk their lives for others (although that is pretty fucking important and BRAVE in my book). 

Brave. What does it mean, really? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, brave means: "feeling or showing no fear; not afraid." I'm afraid every single day, so surely, I wouldn't be considered brave, right? But the more I think about it, the more I feel like admitting that you are afraid is brave. Admitting that you are vulnerable is brave.  

I'm sure I've mentioned a few times that I suspected I have depression - that I've had it probably my whole life. Well, I do. And anxiety as well. I finally was diagnosed this past September. It was really hard for me to accept. I didn't want to know for sure, because then I would have to admit that there was something "wrong" with me. There's that stigma associated with invisible diseases. People say, What's wrong with you? Why don't you cheer up? I don't like it when you're like this. Just smile, it will all be OK. What do you have to be sad about? You're such a downer. Call me when you're in a better mood. 

It hurts. It makes you feel like you are less than. That you should always put on a happy face and smile and pretend. But I finally had enough. I reached my breaking point and said, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I need answers and I need a plan.   

And I faced my fear and put myself first. Which is a really hard thing for me to do, because there's always that guilt in the background. That I should be focusing on my family and not on myself. That I should be strong and not let my problems get in the way of taking care of others. But finally admitting that I needed help and that I needed to take care of myself, so that I could be a better wife and mother, was a HUGE step for me. 

Things are better for me now. They aren't perfect; I still have my ups and downs. But they are better. The burden feels lighter. My heart feels more joy. And I am brave in my own way. 

What makes you brave? 


*Linking up with Dean and Courtney for #TWSS. 

P.S. Don't forget to join us on Wednesday, Feb. 18th for Write or Die Wednesdays! The prompt is the photo below. Hope you join us and happy writing! 






10 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your heart, Mia. I certainly think you are brave. To me, it easily shines through in your writing :)

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  2. "Loving ourselves through the process of OWNING our story is the bravest thing we will EVER do" -Brene Brown.
    Mia, this *was* brave of you! For the longest time I hid my anxiousness, well I thought I did. Some people saw right through me, others had/have no idea. I have opened up a smidge on my blog.
    Actually, one of the major reasons I keep blogging>>> it helps! I attended my first blog conference this October and it scared the freakin' guts out of me, but I did it.


    I am proud of you for sharing your story!! I am a firm believer that our words can help others.
    Our words help us too; writing-out the mind stew is SO therapeutic, no?
    Wishing you all the best always, badass!
    Thanks for linking up with Courtney & I.
    XOXO

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  3. I'm proud of you for admitting something so personal! We are all human and there's nothing wrong with admitting you're not perfect, none of us are. But you chose to do something about your struggle and that to me is bravely taking a step in the right direction!

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  4. I am SO proud of you for writing this and for getting the help that you need to live an awesome life. There's no shame in seeking help! xx

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  5. This is an amazing post, Mia! You are brave--for talking about it and for taking care of yourself. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  6. Thank you so much, Andrea! That really means a lot. :) xo

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  7. Yesss! I so agree - blogging and writing definitely helps. And I'm proud of you for going to the conference and tackling something that scared you! That's awesome. xo

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  8. Thanks, twinny! You always know what to say. :) xo

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  9. Thank you so much, Anastasia! Your words mean a lot. xo

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  10. Thank you for your kind words, Crystal!

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