...for being drunk in public... and I wasn't even drunk!!!!
Yes, little old nerdy me had a run-in with the law... and the law didn't win. Ha!
So, it was a crisp Fall evening back in 2007. I was with my friend at the time, we'll call her Buffy. We were downtown at the local bar scene. Buffy didn't eat any dinner before we went out. But she was kind of down, so she wanted to have a few drinks and relax. Well, obviously, she ended up drinking wayyyy more than she should have, especially on an empty stomach.
She started getting really nauseous. I kept telling her if she felt sick, she should go to the restroom. She said she didn't want to go to the bathroom, she just needed to get outside and get some fresh air. I went with her of course because there was no way I was letting her out of my sight in the condition she was in.
So we go outside and almost immediately she starts retching and gagging. I turn my back, not only to avoid watching any yuckiness, but also to kind of shield her from view, because I knew she'd be embarrassed.
I literally turned my head back for 2 seconds to look at her and ask her if she was OK, if she wanted water, or anything, and when I turned my head back around, there were 2 police officers standing in front of me, shining their flashlights in my face. I mean, they appeared out of nowhere. There was no cruiser, no motorcycles, no bicycles, heck, not even a pair of horses. They just David Copperfield-ed themselves right in front of me like a pair of law enforcement NINJAS!! I still don't know where the heck they came from.
They start asking me what we're doing outside, asking us how much we had to drink, etc. I told them I only had 1 drink, which was true, but of course they didn't believe me. I told them my friend was feeling sick and wanted to come outside for fresh air and they could obviously tell she'd had a lot to drink. They ask for our driver's licenses and call our info over the walkie-talkie radio thingy on their shoulder. I guess we passed the test, because we got a stern warning to either head back inside or head home. Which was good because at this point, my friend kept saying "I didn't eat dinner today. Because I'm Catholic." Oh goodness gracious.
I was surprisingly calm throughout this ordeal. Which was markedly different from the time I got pulled over for the first time at 18 for speeding and bawled my little eyes out. I didn't get a ticket, but that's a story for another day. ;)
So, the moral of this story is: if your friend feels sick, whether she's Catholic or not, lock her in the bathroom.
And also hang out with me because I'm too nerdy to get arrested.